Monday, May 4, 2009

Just Another Day at the Office...

I went back and forth on whether to post about this story but Heather talked me into it. I won't use the real names of the people involved though.

Crazy things happen where I work. These things are pretty much what inspired me to start this blog. Like the goat that was running wild through the plant and the farmer and his son trying to catch it. That was priceless. Or the day an employee walked out, went and got wasted then came back threatening to kill us all. He came to work the next day and had no recollection of the prior day. That obviously was his last day of employment.

But today might take the cake. On Friday afternoon, we let the crew go early around 1:30 pm. Most of the guys who work here use their entire week's paycheck on alcohol. John and Billy Bob are no exception. As soon as they got off, they got in Billy Bob's truck and headed to the liquor store. John is a 40ish yr. old, black man with about 3 teeth. Billy Bob is 25 yrs. old and looks like he's 50 due to what I can only assume was/is a really bad meth addiction.

Side note: One day I walked into the breakroom and John and Billy Bob were arguing about who has less teeth. These are the kind of people I deal with daily.

So John and Billy Bob take their liquor and go to some woman's house that John knows. They proceed to get wasted. Some random guy starts calling John the "N" word and telling John he's going to fight him. So John goes outside to fight him, gets his hand cut open by the knife in random dude's hand, swipes random dude's feet out and pummels him. John told me this morning in vivid detail how he almost killed the guy (stomping his face and choking him).

Billy Bob pulls John from random dude and they leave. They then find what I am going to call an extremely loose woman (ok, crack whore) on the side of the road and she lets them take her to an abandoned house. Use your imagination here (or don't) because I almost threw up my breakfast thinking about this. Billy Bob has his turn first, then while John is in the house with her, Billy Bob leaves him there and takes off. Billy Bob crashes into a ditch and receives his 5th DUI.

Cut to this morning in the breakroom which is how I know all of this. They start screaming at each other. Billy Bob says he's going to shoot John and John threatens to stomp Billy Bob's face in like he did to the other guy. Billy Bob starts crying and tells us he has to leave.

I swear I couldn't make this stuff up. Don't show this to my mom. She might fly out here and kidnap me to take me back home. I did ask about the guy that was beaten and was told that he is recovering and John has since apologized. He has not pressed charges because this "happens all the time". Yep, just another day in the office.


  1. Oh my God!!!! I know you couldn't make that stuff up. It must be insane where you are working. I can't even imagine. I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my cheeks. Your mom called me to tell me about this and she couldn't help but laugh about it as well. God love you, sweetie!!! STAY SAFE!!!!!!!

    Aunt Marcia

  2. this could be a really scarey reality show. i love the stories!