Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Another Random Act of Kindness

Our friends gave us a lawn mower they are no longer using a couple weekends ago.  We got it started once but were not able to keep it running long enough to actually get any mowing done.  We were contemplating buying a brand new one to avoid the hassle of finding someone to fix it for us.  Friday night, Howard went up to the local grocery store to get a couple of steaks to grill out.  While there, he asked the owner if he knew of anyone in the area that fixed mowers.  He pointed up the road and said to try Mike and gave Howard the description of his house.  Howard drove down a long, dirt road to his house but no one was home so he left a note in the door.

Later that evening, Mike called back and told Howard to bring the mower by the next morning.  We dropped it off Saturday on our way to town.  We met him and his wife and their granddaughter and they couldn't be nicer.  He told us it would probably be Monday evening before he had it ready and since they were calling for rain, we had no problem with that.  However, two hours later, he called Howard and let him know that he had it working already.

Howard went to pick it up Sunday morning and had made sure to get some cash from the ATM to pay Mike for his services.  But this is Wingo and the Wingo way is free.  He wouldn't accept any money for fixing the mower.  He also told Howard if we had anymore problems to just bring it back by.  On Howard's way out, he asked if Mike sold any riding mowers since we know we are going to need one.  Mike pointed to one on his lawn and said he was just about done tuning it up and he would sell it for $100 and all work needing to be done at any point on it would be free of charge.  SOLD!  Compared to the brand news ones we looked at, this is quite a steal. 

There is nothing quite like living in a small town.  And I quite like it =)

Monday, March 29, 2010

My Phone Can't Swim

I have a problem.  My phone.  It's my life support.  I can't exist without it.  So much so that I feel the need to take it into the bathroom with me.  Despite flushing it down the toilet last June, I didn't learn my lesson.  And so I attempted to flush it down the toilet again yesterday.  How could this happen again, you ask.  Well, how about the EXACT. SAME. WAY. AS. LAST. TIME.  It fell from my sweatshirt pocket straight into the toilet.  But this time I realized it.  It was like it happened in slow motion.  And I grabbed for it plunging my hand straight down into the flushing toilet of pee.  And I don't care who knows it.  My phone is that worth it.  Unfortunately it was too late.  My phone is a goner.  I was a wreck yesterday.  We don't have Internet at home right now so I rely on my phone to keep me connected to the outside world.  I couldn't check Facebook or my Google Reader or purchase that 24-piece bedding set I was looking at right before my phone took a dive.  Do you know how many times in a 8 hour period something crossed my mind that I wanted to look up and I reached for my phone only to realize again that it was dead to the world?  Like 567,893,546,190 times.  And I can't get the insurance to replace it for 3-7 days due to the phone being on backorder.  FML.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

5k Run/Walk to Support Our Troops

Heather is organizing and hosting her first 5k run.  I want to help her be successful so she will continue to be able to raise money for this fabulous organization.  If you aren't busy on the morning May 1st, go ahead and register for this great cause =) 

Neighbors Foundation is hosting our first 5k run: Operation Care Package 5K

(Runners and Walkers welcome!)

When: Saturday, May 1, 2010

Time: 9 am

Where: Fountainhead Regional Park
10875 Hampton Road
Fairfax Station, VA 22039

Register: http://www.active.com/running/fairfax-station-va/operation-care-package-5k-2010

Proceeds from this event will cover postage costs for the thousands of care packages we send to our troops serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.

This is a family event! We will have a staffed area for children to write letters to the troops while parents run.


Neighbors Foundation is a 501(c)3 not for profit organization.

Tax id: 20-2738899


Typical Friday Night

I remember when Friday and Saturday nights in high school consisted of driving to each and every 7-11 in the Great Falls area to try and find someone who knew where a house party was.  In college, it consisted of finding the best dorm or frat party.  And when I turned 21, it was the best drink specials at the best bar.  Even when I bought my own home, it was drinks at the bar down the street or having friends over for game nights.

Oh, how the times have changed.  Last Friday night found Howard and I arguing discussing which device cleaned the hardwood floors better.  The vacuum or the broom.  I was all for the vacuum and I pulled it out and began vaccuming to show him how much better it was compared to the lousy broom.  So he pulled the broom out and started following behind me showing me how much I was missing with the vaccum.  Before long, every floor in the house was swept and vacuumed and that wasn't even our plan. 

Speaking of hardwood floors, why, oh, why did I ever insist on needing them?  Sure, I figured they would be so much easier to clean.  Which they are.  But we have to clean them EVERY.OTHER.DAY. to keep the dog hair from piling up.  And also, they hurt my feet.  I've never worn slippers in my life though I had a pair from like 8th grade in my shoe bin.  I am now a slipper-wearer.  I panic if I can't find them the minute I get home.  And if you know me, you know I hate having anything on my feet.  I wear flip-flops from March to December.  And to be quite honest, it's the same pair of flip-flops every day.  For two years now (going on three).  Is that sad?  My boyfriend has more shoes than I do.  And he actually wears them all.  I've worn 3 pairs of shoes in the last year.  My New Balances, my flip-flops and the boots my mom gave me for Christmas.  Wow.  I have no idea how this went from a typical Friday night to my lack of femininity in three paragraphs.  Don't judge me.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Two Amazing Friends

I have some really amazing friends.  It doesn't matter how far away I am, they continue to think of me daily.  Distance knows no bounds with real friends...

Last week I received an email from Cooking Light Magazine.  Heather had gotten me a subscription.  It was such a surprise and a needed one at that!  Heather and I have been close friends since I moved to Herndon in 10th grade in 1996 and I don't see that ever changing.  Thanks Heather!!

Then yesterday when I got home from work, there was a package on my  front porch.  I opened it up to find a Chia Hippo Pet.  My old roommate and friend, Erin, had come across it online and had thought about me.  I haven't seen Erin in a very long time since she moved back to Florida and I moved to Kentucky but our friendship is still very strong.  Howard has a Chia Homer so we are obviously going to compete to see who can grow the better Chia Pet =)  Thanks Erin!!
Thank you both for thinking of me though I am so far away now.  Means a lot to me to have true friends who know me so well =)

Monday, March 22, 2010

I Did It!!

I finally got up the nerve to take pictures of the shack I wrote about here.  She was outside and I tried to get her in the picture but apparently taking pictures from a moving car isn't all that easy.  Her hand is in the bottom left hand corner of the first pic though.  I told Howard that as long as I didn't make eye contact with her, she couldn't curse me for the rest of my life.  Click the pictures to enlarge them and see their full glory.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


One of the customers I severely dislike was in my office earlier.  He was talking about his 28 year old son mooching money off him and not showing up to work.  I wasn't really paying much attention until he mentioned why his son wasn't working regularly.  Farmville.  His son is addicted to the Facebook game, Farmville.  I honestly lost it and busted out laughing. 

My boss had no idea what he was talking about so we attempted to explain the concept.  Although I've never (and will never) play it, I'm pretty sure I've gotten the gist of it from friends.  I decided against ever checking it out when the girl at the bar left in a hurry to go water her Farmville plants after her alarm reminder went off. 

Anyhow, the customer was going on and on about how his son spends hours a day monitoring his crops and feeding his animals.  Then he said he was going to find a way to hack into his son's account and set fire to his barns, douse his crops with cyanide and terminate all his farmhands.  He said when his son asks for money next time, he's going to tell him to go shear his sheep or sell some corn to earn it. 

He is now my new favorite customer.

Snakes, Spiders and a VERY Strange Coincedence

Over the weekend while I was wondering around our yard, I crept into the old, ramshackle barn and was looking around in the creepy horse stalls.  I peered into the dark stall on the right and saw a snake.  A huge slimy, slithery, scaly, fanged, venomous snake.  Then I realized it was only a snake skin but that didn't stop me from hightailing it out of there while screaming, "SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE!".  I mean, a snake skin just means that a snake was in there at some point and that some point could have been 2.5 seconds ago and it could have been wrapping around my legs at that very moment. 

So obviously I will never set foot in the barn again.  EVER.  But what I found in my kitchen last night is just not right.  It's just not fair.  There were two very large spiders crawling around the kitchen floor.  I didn't get any pictures because I was frantically running around the kitchen screaming profanity while looking for something to kill them with.  I settled on the battery to Howard's drill.  I'm sure he'll thank me later. 

I thought that was the end of it.  Until I walked out my front door later and saw this:

I was attempting to get close enough to this spider to get a good picture and had no idea that another one was just inches from my shin:

This picture was taken right outside my front door.  And there were more.  They were EVERYWHERE.  I went on a fun, little killing spree with a shoe (Howard's of course) and a bottle of Raid.  But it didn't ease my mind.  As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep later, I couldn't stop imagining them crawling across my pillow.

Before bed though, I took Jack and Copper on their nightly walk.  I had barely taken two steps out the door when both of their leash cords broke at the EXACT.SAME.TIME.  One second they were pulling me forward, and the next they were across the yard and I was in the same spot.  I stood there extremely perplexed at what had just happened.  I mean I can understand one breaking but both?  At the same time?  Could someone please explain this to me??  Then it dawned on me the dogs were out roaming on their own and as strange as my night had been, I wouldn't doubt a coyote was lurking nearby.  I tracked them down and proceeded to walk them with their leash strings wrapped around my hands.  My hands felt shredded by the end of it.

To top it all off, a violent hailstorm started up around 2 am.  It sounded like large boulders were falling on the roof and slamming into the window panes.  The thunder was booming and the lightning so bright, it was constantly lighting up the entire bedroom.  I really appreciated the extra hour to imagine the spiders crawling all over my bed though. 

PS.  It's time to come home from your work training, Howard.  You are seriously needed at home.  I'm not cut out for this!

PPS.  Can't wait to see some of you this weekend up in Nova :)  Bring on Game Night!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Hosemobile = Devil

Since it was nearly 65 degrees yesterday, we decided to spend the day outside working around the yard.  And by working I mean, I walked around the yard with a beer saying things like "I bet ya can't fix that..." and Howard would proceed to fix it while I watched.  I like to call it motivation.  Things were moving along just fine.  "We" had reattached some loose boards to the shed, hung a motion light, capped and caulked the ends of the clothesline and hung some bird feeders.  "We" moved on to setting up the Hosemobile aka "The Devil". 

It might look easy but let me tell you that's clearly not the case.  We (and I really mean we now) went about trying to figure out the Hosemobile without instructions because none were provided.  We just couldn't figure out how to attach the hose.  And then we saw the opening on the side we were missing and we were all like, "HAHAHA! We are so dumb! How could we not see that! This will go so much smoother now! YAY!  HIGH FIVE!"

So we set it up and turned the water on and aimed the hose and...NOTHING.  The water would not come out the hose.  We tried and tried again.  Detached the whole thing and started over.  Still N.O.T.H.I.N.G.  We were very angry at this point.  I tried googling instructions on setting it up (ya know, since none were provided).  I was sitting on the steps in the garage when I noticed something sticking out of the trashcan.  I walked over and pulled it out.  It happened to be the instructions that came with the cart that Howard hadn't remembered tearing off the night before and tossing in the trash (possibly due to some alcohol intake).

I handed the instructions over to Howard with a smirk on my face like, "HAHAHA!  You are so dumb!  How could you not remember it had instructions!!  This will go so much smoother NOW!  YAY!  HIGH FIVE!"  Except NO.  The instructions didn't help one bit.  They made it worse actually. 

Howard decides the problem is inside the mechanism and tries to pry it open.  A couple bloody knuckles later and he succeeds.  That's right, this innocent Hosemobile made him bleed.  Howard - 0, Hosemobile/Devil - 5.

Fast forward to three hours into this whole debacle and we are at our wits' end.  We spent THREE HOURS attempting to attach a garden hose to a reel cart.  WTF?  Howard had resorted to kicking and throwing it around the yard in attempt to make himself feel better.

We finally just gave up.  And that's not easy for us to do.  The Hosemobile defeated us.  I still have a hard time admitting it. 

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Not So Normal

So I was just thinking about how I've had nothing to write about regarding the work peeps lately.  They've been rather boring.  Or have they?  I think I'm just so accustomed to it now that I don't think much of it anymore.  That's sorta scary.

Employee #1:  He's in jail.  He actually hasn't worked since January.  He was off due to some health issues and was due back at the beginning of the week.  However, he was thrown in the slammer two weeks ago for neglecting to pay his child support. 

Employee #2:  He just got out of jail.  Once again, John was picked up for public intoxication.  He was using the bathroom at Burger King when he passed out at the urinal.  Employee #3 was with him but couldn't figure out where he went so he left him there.  Apparently, a Burger King worker found him there and attempted to wake him up to no avail.  Enter police.

Employee #3:  He was off for a while due to "a boil on his ass".  No, for real.  His exact words.  When my boss questioned him about needing to go home for it, he went into explicit detail.  He cried.  He had his mom call to verify.  He asked for my boss to feel it.  FEEL.THE.BOIL.ON.HIS.ASS.

Dear God.  I need to get out of this place.  THIS IS SO NOT NORMAL.

Employee #4's Cousin (who happens to work for one of our customers):  His name in Contack.  Well that's his nickname anyway because I'm pretty sure his given name is something like Mortimer.  He's also in jail.  He tried to steal a woman's purse at Walmart.  The purse wasn't sitting in the cart unattended or anything.  It was slung over the woman's shoulder.  I really would like to have seen the gears shifting in his stupid, little head.  Hey!  I have a bright idea.  I'm gonna steal that woman's purse right off her arm in the middle of Walmart.  This is bound to work!  Pure genius I tell you.

I think that's enough for now.

Pure Bliss

5:09 PM, Monday, March 1, 2010 - I-24 Westbound at Cadiz, KY - 70 MPH = Another reason why I love KY.  No rush hour 'round these parts =)