Monday, September 27, 2010


On Saturday, Howard and I left the house to head into town to attend BBQ on the River.  Before even leaving our small town of Wingo, we came across a gathering in the middle of the town square parking lot.  I'm not sure what was going on.  There were some booths with cotton candy and hot dogs and popcorn.  There were some games for kids to play.  And then there were long tables filled with clothes and people were just rummaging through them picking out what they wanted.  I am still extremely confused as to what was really going down.  All I know is I couldn't pass up snapping a picture of this true Kentucky redneck game. 

Toilet Paper Toss! 

We lasted maybe 2 minutes before deciding this was too much for us to handle.  We promptly left and headed out to BBQ on the River, a huge BBQ competition downtown on the waterfront.  We walked around and nothing sounded appetizing to either of us.  Howard asked if I'd rather eat at the little deli downtown and that sounded much better than BBQ so I agreed. 

We began walking towards Kirchoff's when I realized it closed at 2 pm and went to check the time on my phone (It was 1:53 in case you are wondering).  This isn't such a great idea while walking down a cobblestone street in flip flops.  My right flip flop caught the lip of an upraised stone and I began to fall forward.  I swear it happened in slow motion and my brain was going, "hahaha, you tripped, you silly girl, now catch yourself with your left foot".  But then my left flip flop caught another stone and my brain was like, "hmmm....this isn't good".  And down I went.  HARD.  Did I mention there is a BBQ fest going on and only like a gazillion people around to witness my epic fail?  I landed first on my left knee and I swear I heard it shatter.  Somehow, I managed to avoid any other injuries.  Not even a scrape on my hand.  Howard was trying really hard not to laugh at me considering everyone else around was very concerned about me and he didn't want to look like a total asshole.  I was able to pick myself up and hobble off attempting to laugh away the pain.  I guess it wasn't my knee that shattered, just my pride.  Also, I would like to state for the record, that I did not have an ounce of alcohol in me at this time.  I would never have fallen if I had.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful.  Just a lot of football and booze ;) 

And just because, here are a couple pictures of Friday night's sunset taken from our front porch.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Stop Your Janglin'

Last night, Howard's favorite team, the San Francisco 49ers were playing last year's Super Bowl Champs, the New Orleans Saints.  Howard didn't have much hope for this game so his game plan was to get really drunk in hopes that he wouldn't remember how badly they got beat in the morning.  Much to his surprise, they played well and had a chance to win up until the end.  However, Howard's plan was already set in motion and there was no turning back.  Needless to say, he was pretty wasted when the game ended and it was time for bed.  Like normal, I took the dogs' collars off so we wouldn't be woken up by their incessant jangling.  All was quiet in our room until I went to turn over and my necklace made the slightest jingle. 

Howard:  (muttering) Take their collars off.
Me:  I did.  It wasn't them.
Howard:  Then who was it?
Me:  It was me.
Howard:  (bolting upright in bed) DANA, TAKE YOUR COLLAR OFF!

He immediately put his head back down and was fast asleep.  I, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing.  And of course, he has no recollection of this.

Monday, September 20, 2010

I Heart Truck Drivers

Today has been insane.  Absolutely nothing has gone right.  I haven't had a day like today since I first started.  Don't get me wrong, I like to stay busy.  It makes the day go by faster.  But when you are busy because everything is spiralling out of control, well, that just plain sucks.  Thankfully, I got a call a little while ago that made everything right again.

Me:  Thanks for calling ***.  How may I help you?
Caller:  OK, where are you?
Me:  Um, I'm in the office.
Caller:  No, where is your business?
Me:  Off of Route 1241.
Caller:  Well, I'm on Canal Street like you told me.
Me:  No, I didn't tell you anything about Canal Street.
Caller:  Well, the broker did.  So how do I get to you?
Me:  I don't know.  I don't know where you are.
Caller:  I came in from 41 to 60.
Me:  I'm sorry sir, I don't know where either of those roads are.
Caller:  OK, well then how do I get there?
Me:  I really don't know.  I need to know where you are.
Caller:  I'm on Canal Street in Henderson!
Me:  I'm not sure where Henderson is.
Me:  Because I'm not located in Henderson.  I'm located in Hickory.
Caller:  Oh.........  Is this WSI?
Me:  No, this is ***.
Caller:  [Click]

Thank you random truck driver.  You made my day.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I'm a Fantasy Ninja!

Yesterday I was informed by my best friend, Ashley, that a surprise was on it's way for me.  I really think she was making up for forgetting my birthday altogether last year but that's cool because I'm all for surprises.  I came home to find a package from on my front porch.  Upon opening it, I found a sweatshirt.  But not just any sweatshirt.  The BEST.SWEATSHIRT.EVER.

Ashley knows a lot about me, almost everything.  She knows I love hoodies.  She knows I live and breathe fantasy football during football season.  She knows I'm messy and bought me a darker grey color to hide stains.  She even knows of my secret ninja skills.  Apparently what she doesn't know is that though I haven't seen her since Christmas, I haven't plumped up to a men's XL.  When I tried the sweatshirt on, it was down to my knees.  In her defense, she was just trying to make sure it was roomy since she also knows I like my hoodies that way.

Not willing to just hand this gift over to Howard, I decided to see what I could do about exchanging it for a smaller size.  I figured I'd have to pay shipping to send it back and possibly even to get a new one sent to me but it was worth it.  I mean, can you see the mini-ninja star in place of the "u" up there?

I found an online form on their website and simply filled out the form saying I would like to exchange the size from an XL to a Medium.  I received an automated response back in seconds with a tracking number for further correspondence and a message stating I would receive an email within 24 hours regarding my inquiry.  I wasn't feeling very optimistic. 

Less than 10 minutes later, I received the following email:

Dear Dana,

Thank you for contacting!

I am sorry the item you received does not fit perfectly. I want you to be 100% satisfied with everything you purchase at I am ordering you a replacement right away in the new size at no additional charge. You should receive the replacement by September 29th.

There is no need for a return! I do not want you to incur any additional shipping charges. Please keep the original as our way of saying thanks for shopping at

If there is anything else I can do for you please let me know.

Best Regards,

Crystal V. Support Representative

I'm sorry.


Talk about customer service.  I was beyond stunned. 

They just won themselves a new loyal customer.

You know what this means, right?  Howard and I going to look super dope in our matching football ninja sweatshirts.

Thanks Ashley!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I'm Old

Sooo...yeah, I'm still alive.  I just haven't had much to write about and I really don't want to bore you into unfollowing me.  See that?  I haven't been writing for your sake! 

Today is my birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.  I love celebrating getting old.  You know what I asked my parents for?  A sewing machine.  Just call me Grandma.  A while back my friend Kere posted about finding herself sitting at home crafting on a Friday night.  Kere is married with two beautiful little girls so it made sense.  But me?  I thought to myself, HA!, that will never be me.  But alas, it is.  I emailed Leslie this picture last Friday with the caption, "OMG, I'm old.  This is my Friday night!"

I felt a little better when Leslie responded that she was already in bed at 9:44 pm though. 

Then today as I'm browsing around facebook waiting on more happy birthday messages to come in making me feel popular and loved by people who haven't seen me in years and could probably care less but feel like it's their mandatory duty to wish me a happy birthday because they see my name staring them in the face (hint, hint), I came across a friend suggestion.  It was a name I haven't heard in 15 years.  Since I babysat him when he was 3 years old.  He's married.  I babysat the kid when he was 3.  THREE.  Thank you, kid, for making me feel every one of my 29 21 years old.

Friday, September 3, 2010

And the Winner is...

Jennifer!  Congratulations =)  I'll be emailing you shortly.

jennifer said...


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

August Freebies

Make fun of me all you want but I love getting freebies in the mail.  On vacation last week, I used a bunch of my free sample packs of lotions, shampoos and conditioners as well as a few other things.  I was able to pack much lighter.  So there.