Friday, December 3, 2010

Well, Hello World

How've you been?  Good to see you, my old friend (name that song).

Soooo yeah, it's been forever since I've come on to update here.  I could come up with a million excuses but I'll just stick to I suck lately.  Plain and simple.

Moving on...


Early in November one night, I was watching tv in the family room.  Howard comes running in from the garage asking if I heard a loud crash.  He swore something happened outside.  He takes the flashlight and goes out onto the porch to look for the source of the noise but we can't see anything with the measly flashlight beam in the pitch black.  Then we see highbeams light up the field across the street from us.  Except these highbeams are coming from the middle of the field themselves.  A place they do not belong.  Howard calls out to the driver to ask if he's alright and the man yells rather incoherently back about having a driver on the way to get him.  Not 10 seconds later, a car comes speeding down the road and stops to pick him up.

Obviously we decided to go investigate what happened once he was gone.  It seems he missed the curve in the road and drove straight off the 5 foot ledge into our neighbor's field.  His front right tire was bent sideways and the front part of his truck was completely smashed in where he had hit the ground nose first.  It was obvious he left in a rush as all the windows were down and doors unlocked.  All of the items that were once in his truck bed were scattered throughout the field.  The truck still had not been moved the following morning so I was able to snap a pic from our porch.


The day before the local elections were held, I was driving down our road on my way to work.  I was going through the 25 mph residential zone when I saw a truck coming towards me.  It suddenly stopped in the road.  I proceeded towards the truck when all of a sudden the police lights came on and I realized it was the sheriff (the only police officer in our entire town).  He drove slowly at me then stopped with the radar gun pointed in my face.

Officer:  34 in a 25mph zone...
Me:  *cringe face*
Officer:  I know you're late.  Slow down and have a good day.

Guess who had my vote for sheriff the next day?


I know I've written before about my office mice, but now we have house mice.  This I am NOT cool with.  Howard has set some traps and has caught a few here and there.  For all I know, he's caught a ton but I ask him not to tell me about them because I just don't want to know. 

I came home from work one afternoon and walked into the kitchen.  I went to toss some trash into the trash can under the sink but noticed Howard had taken the trash out and not replaced the bag.  So I grabbed a new bag from under the sink and pulled the trash can out to replace it.  And something jumped at my hand.  I was so startled, I flung the trash can across the floor where it, thankfully, landed upright.  It took me forever to catch my breath and find the courage to pick the trash can back up and take it outside to let it go.  And then I'm sure he came right back in.


We weren't able to make it home for Thanksgiving this year but our friends, Matt & Katie, decided to come out to KY and join us.  Which means I had to do more than get Chinese take-out and sit around in my pajamas all day watching football.  It was worth it though.  We had a lot of fun.  We even introduced them to Spice Jenga!  Don't let them try and tell you it's not fun.  Thanks for visiting guys =)  Here is proof I cooked.  So what if half of it came from a box or can? 


And just because, here's a picture of the sunset from last night.  Forgive the picture quality, I was driving but it was just too amazing not to get this on film.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Check Yes or No

When Howard and I got back from Nashville and picked up the dogs at the boarder's, we were told Copper is a tad chick crazy.  As in she had to separate her female dog Winnie from Copper all weekend long because he was mounting her every chance he got.  Howard and I decided it might be a good time to get him neutered. 

I called the vet that was recommended to us and asked about pricing.  The assistant told me it would be $82.50 for the surgery and anethesia so I made the appointment for Thursday morning.  I arrived at the vet yesterday morning all set to fork over the agreed upon sum and Copper.  The assistant handed me a form I had to sign first.  Included on that form were several add-on options.  And all those options cost additional money.  But of course!  She explained that they are all very highly recommended to ensure my pet's utmost safety.

If you don't want your dog to be in pain, check here!  $10.50

If you want take home medication so he's not in pain later, check here!  $16.95

If you want a catheter already in place in case medication needs to be issued in an emergency, check here!  $26.70

If you want an EKG performed before surgery to ensure there won't be any complications, check here!  $55.10

If you don't check every box above, you are a cold, heartless, indecent bitch.
I began envisioning getting a call later on in the day. 
Dana?  We have some very bad news.  Copper has passed away during surgery.  That EKG you checked no for could have prevented it.  But since you're a heartless bitch, you probably don't care anyway.
The end total was somewhere around $250.  I checked every one of those boxes.  Because I love that damn dog.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Spy...

A horse tied to a hitching post at Walmart.  What?  Your Walmart doesn't have a hitching post?

A cow wandering down the road to our house. 

Hey there Bessie!

A little dog unaware he's having his "boys" removed on Thursday.  Sorry buddy!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Procrastination At It's Finest

When the NFL schedules came out back in April, I immediately checked the Titans website to see if they were hosting the Eagles at home.  When I saw they were, I did a little happy dance and called up my brother to see if he wanted to drive up from Atlanta to meet Howard and I for the game.  He of course, being a die hard fan, said yes. 

And that was that.

Days passed.

Months passed.

The game is this weekend.  What can I say?  I'm lacking in the planning department.  Thanks to Howard, we at least have tickets already.  Though they were a complete ripoff.  BUT at least we have them.

Last night I decided it was finally time to get the ball rolling and plan out the rest of this trip.  I called my dog boarder first.  I was ready to explain it was a spur of the moment trip (what? she wouldn't know any better!) and I am sososo sorry but PLEASE!  I didn't even get to beg and plead because the line was disconnected.  Cue insta-panic.  There is no one else in KY that I would trust with my dogs.  Not.A.One.  I called again.  And again.  Hoping each time that it would magically go through.  I scoured the internet looking for additional numbers, land lines, websites, etc.  Anything.  I came across her business website which had a contact form.  I was able to get my begging and pleading done that way.  Then I crossed my fingers.

Next I moved on to booking a hotel for Saturday and Sunday night.  We wanted a hotel right next to the stadium downtown so we could walk our drunk asses back to the room after celebrating the Eagles win with a night out on the town partying.  Every website I searched came back with SOLD OUT.  Cue 2nd insta-panic of the night.  Turns out, there is some big country music thing going on this Saturday.  And unless we were willing to spend upwards of $300 per night in a hotel I will not even remember being in, we were going to have to change our entire plan.

Late last night, I got an email back from the dog boarder stating she was, in fact, still boarding and could keep the dogs this weekend and that no, she didn't hate me or my dogs, it was a problem with AT&T.  So there's that.

But our plan of getting a hotel downtown, walking to the stadium, tailgating, cheering on the Eagles, drinking too much and stumbling back to the hotel is no more.

Now our plan is getting a hotel 12 miles away, finding a parking pass somehow, driving to the stadium, assigning Howard as designated driver, tailgating, cheering on the Eagles, drinking too much and having Howard drive us back to the hotel.

I see no problem with this.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

$40 CSN Stores Winner

Thanks to everyone who entered!  The winner, according to is Ashley with her oh so very sweet comment:

ashley said...

i'm commenting so i can get the stool and then destroy it to crush your beautiful dreams

Enjoy crushing my dreams!  Luckily I know she's kidding...I think.  I hope.

An email will be sent to you with your gift certificate from CSN Stores soon!

Monday, October 18, 2010

People Love Me!

I know I've said it before but it needs repeating every so often.  I have the most thoughtful and amazing friends.  I received two packages in the mail in one week! 

Back in early October, Heather organized a 5K run complete with shirts.  She mentioned possibly sending me a shirt if there were any left over after the race.  She had purchased some navy blue volunteer shirts as well as white participant shirts.  I told her I'd love a navy one if she could make it happen but I'd be happy with a white one as well.  The week following the race, she told me all she had left were white ones.  I was pleasantly surprised when I opened my package Thursday afternoon to find this:

She tricked me!  And she sent me a cute little hippo as well =)

And then today I found another package waiting for me.  Amanda and I talk about food and recipes a lot.  Probably more than normal.  She knows I can't find quinoa or tahini in grocery stores around here so she took it upon herself to send me some.  I had mentioned that I would like to try quinoa and make my own hummus.  On top of that she sent me a bunch of cd's and a Sookie Stackhouse novel that she's been wanting me to read.  Love!!

Thanks for making me feel so special ladies!!  XOXO

Giveaway Reminder

Just a little reminder that the $40 CSN Stores giveaway ends tomorrow at 1 PM!  Click HERE to enter!

Oh and look what showed up on my doorstep Saturday.  Full-size Ziploc freebies!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

$40 CSN Stores Giveaway!

The lovely folks at CSN stores are (yet again) sponsoring a giveaway!  One lucky winner will receive a $40 gift certificate to be used at any one of CSN's many stores.  The possibilities are endless!

If I could win my own giveaway, I would use the certificate towards a counter stool for our kitchen.  We've been looking for the right one since we moved in to our house back in January.  None of the ones we've looked at work for us.  In addition, I absolutely hate our current kitchen and table and chairs and didn't want to waste money trying to buy a stool to match them.  I've had them since Jack was a puppy and the legs on the chairs are almost completely chewed through.  Thanks little buddy!

My parents recently told me they would be getting rid of several pieces of furniture and I was welcome to them as long as I could get them from Virginia to Kentucky.  One of those items is the kitchen table and chairs I grew up with.  I just found the perfect counter stool to match the set!  And on top of that, the entire set and this stool match our cabinets.  I love it when things just work themselves out.

All you need to do to enter is become a follower of my blog (if you aren't already) and leave a comment (one comment per person). 

Let me know what you would buy.  Or what the weather is like where you are.  Or just say "hi".  Anything goes =)

Giveaway will end Tuesday, October 19th at 1 PM CST.  Winner will be chosen by random generator. 

Open to U.S. residents only.

Good luck!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Bird

Yeah, yeah.  I know, I suck.  But here is someone who doesn't suck.  My niece.  Just a few months old and already taking after me.  Love her!

Monday, September 27, 2010


On Saturday, Howard and I left the house to head into town to attend BBQ on the River.  Before even leaving our small town of Wingo, we came across a gathering in the middle of the town square parking lot.  I'm not sure what was going on.  There were some booths with cotton candy and hot dogs and popcorn.  There were some games for kids to play.  And then there were long tables filled with clothes and people were just rummaging through them picking out what they wanted.  I am still extremely confused as to what was really going down.  All I know is I couldn't pass up snapping a picture of this true Kentucky redneck game. 

Toilet Paper Toss! 

We lasted maybe 2 minutes before deciding this was too much for us to handle.  We promptly left and headed out to BBQ on the River, a huge BBQ competition downtown on the waterfront.  We walked around and nothing sounded appetizing to either of us.  Howard asked if I'd rather eat at the little deli downtown and that sounded much better than BBQ so I agreed. 

We began walking towards Kirchoff's when I realized it closed at 2 pm and went to check the time on my phone (It was 1:53 in case you are wondering).  This isn't such a great idea while walking down a cobblestone street in flip flops.  My right flip flop caught the lip of an upraised stone and I began to fall forward.  I swear it happened in slow motion and my brain was going, "hahaha, you tripped, you silly girl, now catch yourself with your left foot".  But then my left flip flop caught another stone and my brain was like, "hmmm....this isn't good".  And down I went.  HARD.  Did I mention there is a BBQ fest going on and only like a gazillion people around to witness my epic fail?  I landed first on my left knee and I swear I heard it shatter.  Somehow, I managed to avoid any other injuries.  Not even a scrape on my hand.  Howard was trying really hard not to laugh at me considering everyone else around was very concerned about me and he didn't want to look like a total asshole.  I was able to pick myself up and hobble off attempting to laugh away the pain.  I guess it wasn't my knee that shattered, just my pride.  Also, I would like to state for the record, that I did not have an ounce of alcohol in me at this time.  I would never have fallen if I had.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful.  Just a lot of football and booze ;) 

And just because, here are a couple pictures of Friday night's sunset taken from our front porch.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Stop Your Janglin'

Last night, Howard's favorite team, the San Francisco 49ers were playing last year's Super Bowl Champs, the New Orleans Saints.  Howard didn't have much hope for this game so his game plan was to get really drunk in hopes that he wouldn't remember how badly they got beat in the morning.  Much to his surprise, they played well and had a chance to win up until the end.  However, Howard's plan was already set in motion and there was no turning back.  Needless to say, he was pretty wasted when the game ended and it was time for bed.  Like normal, I took the dogs' collars off so we wouldn't be woken up by their incessant jangling.  All was quiet in our room until I went to turn over and my necklace made the slightest jingle. 

Howard:  (muttering) Take their collars off.
Me:  I did.  It wasn't them.
Howard:  Then who was it?
Me:  It was me.
Howard:  (bolting upright in bed) DANA, TAKE YOUR COLLAR OFF!

He immediately put his head back down and was fast asleep.  I, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing.  And of course, he has no recollection of this.

Monday, September 20, 2010

I Heart Truck Drivers

Today has been insane.  Absolutely nothing has gone right.  I haven't had a day like today since I first started.  Don't get me wrong, I like to stay busy.  It makes the day go by faster.  But when you are busy because everything is spiralling out of control, well, that just plain sucks.  Thankfully, I got a call a little while ago that made everything right again.

Me:  Thanks for calling ***.  How may I help you?
Caller:  OK, where are you?
Me:  Um, I'm in the office.
Caller:  No, where is your business?
Me:  Off of Route 1241.
Caller:  Well, I'm on Canal Street like you told me.
Me:  No, I didn't tell you anything about Canal Street.
Caller:  Well, the broker did.  So how do I get to you?
Me:  I don't know.  I don't know where you are.
Caller:  I came in from 41 to 60.
Me:  I'm sorry sir, I don't know where either of those roads are.
Caller:  OK, well then how do I get there?
Me:  I really don't know.  I need to know where you are.
Caller:  I'm on Canal Street in Henderson!
Me:  I'm not sure where Henderson is.
Me:  Because I'm not located in Henderson.  I'm located in Hickory.
Caller:  Oh.........  Is this WSI?
Me:  No, this is ***.
Caller:  [Click]

Thank you random truck driver.  You made my day.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I'm a Fantasy Ninja!

Yesterday I was informed by my best friend, Ashley, that a surprise was on it's way for me.  I really think she was making up for forgetting my birthday altogether last year but that's cool because I'm all for surprises.  I came home to find a package from on my front porch.  Upon opening it, I found a sweatshirt.  But not just any sweatshirt.  The BEST.SWEATSHIRT.EVER.

Ashley knows a lot about me, almost everything.  She knows I love hoodies.  She knows I live and breathe fantasy football during football season.  She knows I'm messy and bought me a darker grey color to hide stains.  She even knows of my secret ninja skills.  Apparently what she doesn't know is that though I haven't seen her since Christmas, I haven't plumped up to a men's XL.  When I tried the sweatshirt on, it was down to my knees.  In her defense, she was just trying to make sure it was roomy since she also knows I like my hoodies that way.

Not willing to just hand this gift over to Howard, I decided to see what I could do about exchanging it for a smaller size.  I figured I'd have to pay shipping to send it back and possibly even to get a new one sent to me but it was worth it.  I mean, can you see the mini-ninja star in place of the "u" up there?

I found an online form on their website and simply filled out the form saying I would like to exchange the size from an XL to a Medium.  I received an automated response back in seconds with a tracking number for further correspondence and a message stating I would receive an email within 24 hours regarding my inquiry.  I wasn't feeling very optimistic. 

Less than 10 minutes later, I received the following email:

Dear Dana,

Thank you for contacting!

I am sorry the item you received does not fit perfectly. I want you to be 100% satisfied with everything you purchase at I am ordering you a replacement right away in the new size at no additional charge. You should receive the replacement by September 29th.

There is no need for a return! I do not want you to incur any additional shipping charges. Please keep the original as our way of saying thanks for shopping at

If there is anything else I can do for you please let me know.

Best Regards,

Crystal V. Support Representative

I'm sorry.


Talk about customer service.  I was beyond stunned. 

They just won themselves a new loyal customer.

You know what this means, right?  Howard and I going to look super dope in our matching football ninja sweatshirts.

Thanks Ashley!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I'm Old

Sooo...yeah, I'm still alive.  I just haven't had much to write about and I really don't want to bore you into unfollowing me.  See that?  I haven't been writing for your sake! 

Today is my birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.  I love celebrating getting old.  You know what I asked my parents for?  A sewing machine.  Just call me Grandma.  A while back my friend Kere posted about finding herself sitting at home crafting on a Friday night.  Kere is married with two beautiful little girls so it made sense.  But me?  I thought to myself, HA!, that will never be me.  But alas, it is.  I emailed Leslie this picture last Friday with the caption, "OMG, I'm old.  This is my Friday night!"

I felt a little better when Leslie responded that she was already in bed at 9:44 pm though. 

Then today as I'm browsing around facebook waiting on more happy birthday messages to come in making me feel popular and loved by people who haven't seen me in years and could probably care less but feel like it's their mandatory duty to wish me a happy birthday because they see my name staring them in the face (hint, hint), I came across a friend suggestion.  It was a name I haven't heard in 15 years.  Since I babysat him when he was 3 years old.  He's married.  I babysat the kid when he was 3.  THREE.  Thank you, kid, for making me feel every one of my 29 21 years old.

Friday, September 3, 2010

And the Winner is...

Jennifer!  Congratulations =)  I'll be emailing you shortly.

jennifer said...


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

August Freebies

Make fun of me all you want but I love getting freebies in the mail.  On vacation last week, I used a bunch of my free sample packs of lotions, shampoos and conditioners as well as a few other things.  I was able to pack much lighter.  So there.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

New Giveaway!

I'm addicted to online shopping.  Ever since I discovered how easy Christmas shopping was from the comfort of my couch, actual store shopping hasn't been the same.  One click shopping while drinking a beer and watching old reruns of 90210?  Yes ma'am, sign me up!

I've been browsing a lot more lately since deciding on redecorating room by room.  As I stated in my last post, I'm starting with the office but sometimes my finger gets a bit itchy and I start looking at items for other rooms like modern duvet covers for the bedroom.  Considering our current comforter is camouflage with fish on it (What? It's comfortable...), I think it's about time to update. 

(Hey Mom, Christmas is right around the corner. I promise shopping from your couch with a beer in hand is more awesome than you think. In case you want to practice your online shopping skills, I'll take this one. Don't forget the cute birdie pillow! Thanks.)

I would also be content with a Philadelphia Eagles blanket.  And pillows.  And sheets.  And curtains.  And sofa.  And recliner.  Is it weird that I'm nearing 29 and would be perfectly happy with a decked out Eagles room?  Don't answer that.  I love football.  It's another addiction of mine.

To get into the upcoming football season (that I have been oh so patiently waiting FOREVER for), CSN Stores is once again sponsoring a giveaway!

This basket would be perfect to take tailgating!  It would be perfect to take many places but I've got football on the mind.

Just leave a comment (one per person) stating which color you would prefer if you were to win.  Make sure to include your email address if I don't already have it.  I will pick the winner using a random generator on Friday at 11 AM CST.  Unfortunately, this is only open to US Residents at this time.

Good luck!

Monday, August 30, 2010

File Cabinet Transformation

We moved into our house back in the middle of January.  I swore to everyone that I would post pictures as soon as I had finished decorating.  Do you know how expensive decorating is?  We were moving from a small 2 bedroom apartment into a rather large rancher.  I also never decorated the apartment since we were only supposed to be there 6 months.  6 months somehow turned into 2 years and yet, I never hung one single picture.  I never even bought one single picture.

Upon moving in, I had ideas for each room in the house.  Unfortunately I didn't have the money to make those ideas happen.  I gave up after about 2 weeks and the house has sat nearly empty all this time.  Sure, we have some furniture but that's about it.  Take for example the guest room and office/guest room.  The only reason those rooms have beds is because Howard's mom and grandmother visited in April and we didn't think it would be polite to ask them to pitch a tent out back or crash on the couches.  I know!  We are THAT  nice.

So after 8 months of living in a barren house, I've decided the key is to go room by room.  Attempting to decorate a whole house is intimidating and expensive.  I wanted to start on a smaller scale so I chose the office/guest room.  I just finished my first project so I figured I'd share. 

As ugly as our filing cabinets are, we need at least one.  There was nothing technically wrong with either of them.  But talk about an eyesore.  I chose the one I thought was less offensive and gave it a makeover.  The other one will go downstairs in the basement in storage for the time being.



Howard, who was at first skeptical of my creative talents, even admitted he loves it.  He wants me to do the other one.  It was extremely easy.  I just used some spray paint and vinyl wall art panels. 

Sometimes I even impress myself.

Friday, August 27, 2010

This morning Howard and I ate at a diner in Greeneville, TN.  I overheard a conversation between the cashier and a customer while the customer was checking out.

Cashier:  Thank you.  Have a great day!

Customer:  I plan on it.  Had a bad one back in '84.  Didn't much like it so I decided not to have anymore.

Seriously. Awesome.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Olive To Sew Giveaway!

My friend and sorority sister, Kere, is having a giveaway over on her blog!  The best part is you get to choose the prize =)  And there is so much to choose from.  Just visit her website to browse around and find something you love, then head on over to her blog to enter.

Be Nice To Me Karma...Please?

This past weekend, Howard and I agreed to do nothing.  No adventuring into town.  No grocery shopping.  No leaving the house at all.  On Saturday morning, he slept in.  On Sunday morning, I slept in.  I woke up around noon and made my way to the kitchen.  Howard was standing at the fridge packing a mini-cooler with beer. 

WOW!  Already? 

If you had my morning, you'd be doing the same.


There was a snake in the garage.


Why are you laughing?  It's not funny.

Yes.  It SO is.

I laughed as he proceeded to tell me all about finding it.  I laughed as he described creeping across the garage to get the shovel.  I laughed and laughed because I was imagining my experience with the already dead snake I attempted to kill.  My laugh turned into more of a nervous chuckle when he began describing hosing all of the blood out of the garage.


Yes, Dana, blood.  Take a look at the picture I took to determine if it was poisonous.

Insert a ton of bleeps here and then finally...  That is not a snake.  That is an anaconda!  What the hell is in it's mouth?

A frog.  (As my face crumbles and he knows I might cry...) But don't worry, once I hit it with the shovel, the frog happily hopped away.  (Shut up and let me believe what I want.)

I have put off writing this until now because Howard's been out of town.  I couldn't help but believe Karma was going to leave a snake in my bed as my punishment for laughing hysterically at a situation I may not absolutely no freaking chance would have been able to handle.  And we all know I would be on my way to Northern Virginia the nearest hotel for the night.

And why not Northern VA?  Because of GChat conversations with people back in Nova from the past two days that start like this:

Amanda: took me 2 1/2 hours to get into work today


Kathleen: DMV since 7:30am didn't get out until 10 am

If you read my list of reasons why I like living in KY, you will find:

c. Absolutely no traffic...ever


g. No lines or taking numbers at the "DMV"

I WIN!  Snakes and all.