Things have been quiet around here lately...no one has done anything too crazy or entertaining. But it's been over a week and it's Friday and I'm bored. Hence randomness...
John came in late Tuesday morning extremely sick. Some family had come into town for the weekend and they had proceeded to buy mass amounts of liquor and drink the weekend away. John woke up in a cornfield, stumbled back to the house and rode his bike to work. I repeat, he woke up in a cornfield. He made it until 12:30 and then came into my office to tell me he needed to leave. He told me his heart just wasn't in it today. I explained to him that he had less than 3 hours to go and if he left early, he would not be paid for the holiday the day before. He seemed to think this over but decided he just couldn't make it through the rest of the day and left. When another employee came in to my office a little bit later, I asked him if John went home early because there was alcohol left from the weekend and he was afraid it would be gone by the time he got home from work. Yep. I know my employees so well.
Every ounce of respect I had for Mike is gone. I can't remember if I ever talked about "Abby" before and I don't really feel like going back through all my posts to figure it out. I don't even know if I called her Abby if I did talk about her. But whatever. Abby looks like a normal, 40ish, motherly black woman. And at first I thought that was just what she was. Then she began calling every Thursday (pay day) for John. She would tell me that she needed to speak to John about "an urgent business matter". When I would tell her that he wasn't on break and that I would leave him a message, she would continue to call back and ask if he was on break yet. Then I found out what this "urgent business matter" really was. John was paying Abby 1/4 of his paycheck each week for sexual favors whenever he wanted them. Seriously. Finally I told John to tell her not to call him at work anymore because I didn't feel their deal constituted an "urgent business matter". And she stopped. Itchie told me that Abby would give a sexual favor for a bologna sandwich and has before. Ew. Just Ew. A couple weeks ago, Abby calls and asks for Mike. And then a week later, the same thing. On Thursdays. So imagine my surprise yesterday when Abby came into my office when only my boss, Mike and I were still here. I told her that John had gone home for the day. She told me she was here to see Mike. Yesterday was Thursday. Pay Day. I can't even look at Mike now. Maybe I don't know my employees as well as I thought. Ugh.
Tonight we are going to happy hour, tomorrow Stacy is bbq-ing the best damn chicken I've ever had and I will be first in line for it and well Sunday, Sunday is Christmas in September aka FOOTBALL. Monday I turn 28. My 3 months of bliss where Howard and I are the same age is up and I will once again be older for 9 months and he will take every opportunity to remind me of this.
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