This here is winning application. I'm hiring him Monday.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Yes! If yes, please explain: No! Well then surely it couldn't be anything to serious. You're hired!
Reason for Leaving? Last chance? Lost change? Lost hand? Eh, who cares? You're hired!
Reason for Leaving? Stood Out? Stopped Out? Sold Out? Wait, why am I even asking, I don't care! You're hired!