Last week I noticed what looked to be a black spot on one of my back molars. I, of course, freaked out. I figured my tooth was rotting. I called my mom near tears. I called my dad and blamed him for procreating. He, in turn, made jokes about me trying to fit in with my toothless employees. I harassed my friends over GChat with disturbing mental images of my decaying tooth. I made promises to myself to floss 4 times a day for the rest of my life. To never drink another soda. To cut sugar completely out of my diet. To never drink another beer (bahahaha). Then I called the dentist.
My appointment was set for this past Friday at 4 pm. I had a little more than 48 hours to go. I couldn't stop thinking about how much my tooth was rotting with each passing second and I made sure whoever I was talking to at the time was thinking about it too. I checked it every hour in the bathroom mirror. I received a call Friday around lunch that the dentist was very ill and had gone home for the day and she needed to reschedule me for Tuesday at 11:30 am. Cue my emotional breakdown over the phone with the receptionist. DON'T YOU GET IT? MY TOOTH WILL BE GONE BY THEN! And then I thought that maybe if my tooth did fall out, I could sue. And then I would be rich enough to get new, perfect non-rotting teeth!
Today I went to my appointment. I drove over 30 minutes to get there. I was very nervous the entire time. I kept thinking about how the dentist had told me in March to make sure to floss everyday. And how I flossed like once...in 6 months. When I checked in, the receptionist told me that my insurance wasn't covering today's appointment and that it would be $50 plus 20% of any service the dentist needed to perform. Dollar signs bounced around my head. What does a rotting tooth cost these days? I settled back in the chair and showed him the problem. It took him, oh, about 3.7 seconds to tell me that what I was seeing was just a small reflection of an old filling I had between my teeth. It was casting a small shadow on my tooth. My tooth is fine.
He said he appreciated my proactive attitude about my oral health and said he wouldn't even tell the insurance company I was here today. Instead he will charge it to them in September when I come back for my cleaning. I'm not sure exactly what 3.7 seconds of scanning my mouth costs but I'm glad I'm not the one paying for it.
Oh, and then I went to Quiznos which made it all worth it.
In conclusion? Screw flossing. Hand me a beer. My teeth are badass.