Read Me!

Every morning when my alarm on my phone goes off, I lay around for a few minutes checking Facebook or Google Reader.  Then I slowly make my way to the bathroom with phone in hand.  I place my phone on the window ledge because it's the dryest part of the bathroom.  I don't want to risk setting it in a puddle of water on the bathroom counter in fear of the little white circle near the battery turning that hideous red color that means: WARNING! WARNING! This girl is reckless with her phone! So I went about taking a shower and getting ready and I looked over at my phone on the ledge once and thought, I should put that in my pocket now, but then thought, nah, I'll remember it. 

And did I?  Of course not.  My phone is hopefully still perched up on the bathroom window ledge.  Hopefully I didn't turn into Miss Popular today and hopefully my phone isn't busy vibrating it's way off the ledge.  Because did I mention said ledge is right above the toilet?  No?  Well it is.  Directly above.

So please, for the love of God, DO NOT CALL ME.  DO NOT TEXT ME.  DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT ME.

Thank you in advance.