Not So Normal

So I was just thinking about how I've had nothing to write about regarding the work peeps lately.  They've been rather boring.  Or have they?  I think I'm just so accustomed to it now that I don't think much of it anymore.  That's sorta scary.

Employee #1:  He's in jail.  He actually hasn't worked since January.  He was off due to some health issues and was due back at the beginning of the week.  However, he was thrown in the slammer two weeks ago for neglecting to pay his child support. 

Employee #2:  He just got out of jail.  Once again, John was picked up for public intoxication.  He was using the bathroom at Burger King when he passed out at the urinal.  Employee #3 was with him but couldn't figure out where he went so he left him there.  Apparently, a Burger King worker found him there and attempted to wake him up to no avail.  Enter police.

Employee #3:  He was off for a while due to "a boil on his ass".  No, for real.  His exact words.  When my boss questioned him about needing to go home for it, he went into explicit detail.  He cried.  He had his mom call to verify.  He asked for my boss to feel it.  FEEL.THE.BOIL.ON.HIS.ASS.

Dear God.  I need to get out of this place.  THIS IS SO NOT NORMAL.

Employee #4's Cousin (who happens to work for one of our customers):  His name in Contack.  Well that's his nickname anyway because I'm pretty sure his given name is something like Mortimer.  He's also in jail.  He tried to steal a woman's purse at Walmart.  The purse wasn't sitting in the cart unattended or anything.  It was slung over the woman's shoulder.  I really would like to have seen the gears shifting in his stupid, little head.  Hey!  I have a bright idea.  I'm gonna steal that woman's purse right off her arm in the middle of Walmart.  This is bound to work!  Pure genius I tell you.

I think that's enough for now.