Heaven on Earth

All I need is a boat and Kentucky Lake, and my life might be complete.

Damn, I'm Old

I don't know what's going on with me lately but I never feel like blogging.  Maybe because my life has become less than exciting on all accounts.  Or the strange things that once happened in Western KY are no longer strange to me (which is just a terrifying thought).  Something interesting or funny will happen and I'll tell Howard, I have to remember to write about that later.  And then later, it just doesn't seem all that interesting or funny anymore.  You know, like when I'm drunk.  Everything is funny then.  Not so much the next day.  Maybe I should try blogging while drunk...

Seriously, when did I all of a sudden get old?  I watch cooking and home design shows.  Regularly.  I subscribe to magazines I used to make fun of my mom for.  I stay home on weekends and mow the lawn and plant vegetables and water flowers.  And when those flowers die (because I have no clue what I'm doing despite countless magazines and tv shows), I go to the nursery and buy new ones to replace them.  I scour the internet for free samples and coupons and get excited when I find them.  WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?  Dude, I'm SO boring.  And I'm not even 30 yet.  I don't even have kids!

Sad, right?  Wrong.  I'm not sad.  I'm weirdly happy about this whole "settling down" thing.  I like flowers and homegrown vegetables and House Hunters and Everyday with Rachel Ray and freebies.  OK, so I might actually be a little too obsessed about free stuff in my mailbox everyday.  I blame Shannon for turning me onto Hip2Save.com. 

 

That all came in one week.  Christmas every single day, folks! 

But if I keep this boring, dull life up, I'm not going to have much to blog about.  There is no possible way I can write about cooking and crafts and gardening because I am an epic failure at all of them.  I think I'm gonna have to give that drunk blogging idea a shot.

Giveaway Winner

I completely forgot I was posting a winner at 1 pm today so I'm a little late.  The winner is commenter #1!

Leslie said...


I would use my gift certificate to buy Howard some more ducks!


Please buy something nice for yourself!  Howard doesn't need any more ducks!  Hope you're enjoying your vacation =)  I will be emailing you your certificate shortly.

Random Pictures From My Phone

On my afternoon drive home yesterday =)

Sometimes Howard's brother sends us things that aren't duck related, but bird related. He sent this with the Hooters duck back in May but we just now got a chance to hang it (<----read: we've been extremely lazy)

This is the biggest moth I've ever seen. Don't mind my dying flowers...

Have I mentioned lately that I love these guys?

My Idea of a Good Friend

Last week I was discussing the keyword "vanity" for my giveaway post with Amanda J.  I needed to figure out how to write something relevant to this blog and mention the keyword CSN Stores had given me.  I was chatting with Amanda on Gchat so I asked her.  Her response:

Amanda: hmmmmmmm
no idea
you're not vain at all
i am
you can talk trash about me if you want

Now that is a good friend.  Sacrificing herself for the sake of my blog.  If I didn't love her so much, I might have taken her up on it ;)

Howard the Duck + a New Giveaway

If you read to the end of my long story, I promise to make it worth your while =) 

My boyfriend's name is Howard.  Remember the AWFUL movie, "Howard the Duck"?  Well, of course, he coined that nickname when the movie was released.  And then Howard "the Duck" decided to go off to college at the University of Oregon.  The mascot there?  A duck.  Once upon a time I thought this was a very cute and funny story.  Then I moved to Kentucky and in with Howard "the Duck".  And so it began.  It started slowly at first.  Here a duck.  There a duck.  But as time progressed, I began finding them everywhere.

I have no idea where this one came from.  It miraculously appeared on a bookcase one day.

His mom sent us this one last week. 

I believe this came from China where Howard's brother's girlfriend visited this past year.  We seriously get so many ducks in the mail, I lose track of where they came from.

A duck shotglass.  He refuses to let me use it.

We even have ducks on our bathroom vanity.  Howard's brother gave them to him for Christmas.  He even included a duck bath mat but that's where I put my foot down.  I told Howard that I was only allowing them to stay out until his brother visited and then I was putting them away.  That was a month ago and I have yet to make good on that promise.  Something tells me they would magically reappear anyway.

Duck magnets!

A Hooters rubber duckie.  This came in the mail back in May.  Also from Howard's brother.  Of course.

And this one?  In April when Howard's mom was visiting, we found this in a large brush pile.  It's broken but he insisted on cleaning it up and keeping it anyway.

I was shopping last week killing some time while Howard was at a doctor's appointment.  I was in the pool section when I came across a couple holding this duck chlorinator.  The husband was telling his wife he wanted it but his wife wasn't paying attention.  He put it down.  It was the only one.  I grabbed it and ran when they weren't looking.  It was then I decided, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. 

I bought my first duck for Howard.

Are you still with me?  Good, on to the reward!

It's time for another giveaway courtesy of CSN Stores.  And this time, I'm not going to be picking the prize, you are!  I'll be giving away a $40 gift certificate to any one of CSN's 200+ stores.  Trust me, they sell EVERYTHING. 

To enter, just make sure you are a follower of this blog and leave a comment on what you would use the gift certificate to purchase =)

I'll close the giveaway Monday July 19th at 1 PM CST and pick a winner via random online generator.

Good luck!

(Open to US Residents only.  Sorry!)

My Promise

Howard called me yesterday afternoon to tell me he was finished working and was going to eat Mexican food, drink margaritas and watch the World Cup Semi-Finals.  It was 1:15 pm.  I was jealous.  Not about the Mexican part but the rest sounded awesome.  So what do you do when you're jealous?

Me:  Hey, so what do you think about me leaving early, say...right now, to go drink margaritas and watch soccer?
Boss:  I say get the hell out of here!

Done.  I promise to never complain about my job again.

Fireworks!

Howard and I decided to drive out to Missouri on Saturday to visit Boomland where they sell amazing fireworks that are illegal in Kentucky.  It took about an hour driving on backroads avoiding the highways.  It was well worth it Sunday night when Howard put on my very own, personal fireworks show.

Happy 4th =)

After 6 months of living in Graves County, I finally decided to go get my driver's license and registration changed over on Tuesday morning.  I was told to go to the County Courthouse in Mayfield to get this done.  I walked in and several people were sitting on benches in the hallway.  I had no idea what I was doing so I asked the nearest stranger where to go to change my driver's license and he pointed down the hall.  I walked down the hall passing courtrooms until I came to a little nook that said, "Driver's License".  I was the only one there.  There were only 2 chairs in the entire "waiting room".  Although she wasn't very friendly and didn't tell me when she was taking my picture so I ended up with a license with what looks like a mugshot, I was still done in less than 10 minutes.  I asked her where to go to get my registration done and she pointed to the elevator and told me to go down a floor.  Again, when I walked in, I was the only one there and was helped immediately.  One more reason to love KY.  No actual DMVs!

***

Sunday night, we brought the dogs in from their nightly walk and let them off their leashes.  They both darted through the kitchen to a corner where their food is stored.  At first we thought they were both very hungry but then we noticed they weren't looking at the food but underneath the rolling drawer.  Howard pulled the cabinet out and a tiny little mouse ran out from underneath and darted down the hallway and under the closed spare bedroom door with Copper and Jack on its heels.  Howard set a mousetrap in the room and we went to bed. 

On Monday, I was sitting on the couch and Howard was standing to my left telling me a story.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see the mouse enter the living room behind Howard.  He could tell something was wrong so he turned quickly and saw it dart back into the kitchen.  Copper had seen it too so he was now on the chase.  He cornered it near the garage door but it escaped and ran down the stairs under the closed basement door.  Howard moved the trap from the spare bedroom to the basement.

On Tuesday, I had just gotten in from taking the dogs out after work and was standing at the kitchen island going through the mail.  Copper and Jack were back in the corner near the garage door sniffing.  I turned my head to watch just as the mouse ran for the closed basement door again.  Except this time, Copper was faster.  All of a sudden, half the mouse was hanging out of Copper's mouth.  I screamed and Copper dropped the mouse and ran behind me along with Jack.  There on the floor, is a poor little Fievel, half-dead struggling to make it to the basement door.  I knew I couldn't leave it there because Copper wasn't ready to be done with it.  So I took two red solo cups and scooped the mouse up and tossed everything into a plastic bag.  And yes, I may have been crying the whole time. 

***

I hope everyone has a happy and safe 4th of July!  We have decided to make it pretty low-key this year.  Me, Howard, the dogs, the grill, the pool, some beer and fireworks.  It doesn't get much better than that!